Hugo
As a recovered and grateful once compulsive gambler and alcoholic, I love my story now. However that wasn’t always the case. I grew up being bullied at a young age which attributed to my low self esteem. At the age of 8, I had my first taste of beer at home. Already predisposed, I got hooked. Early childhood sexual experience with older girls. Secret behavior began. I bet for the first time at 12 with a teacher. I won, never got paid and had a resentment. Drinking increased tremendously in high school. No consequences. More immature behavior. My family declared personal and business bankruptcy. More hidden secrets. College was drinking, gambling and depression. The intense feelings of loneliness and not being understood intensified. After college, my 20s, drinking, gambling and sex – escaping all my feelings. I would play basketball and travel which gave me momentarily joyful feelings and experiences. The fact is I felt more lonely and disconnected. I didn’t feel loved and had no idea what love or feelings meant. At age 30, I needed to change something. But what? I stopped drinking, went to meetings, read the Big Book, still continued to gamble. I became a Dry Drunk. I continued to gamble. After 1-1/2 years, I walk into a psychologist’s office to learn about feelings. I was 32 years old, I was an emotional child, emotionally 8 years old. I needed to learn about my emotions. However, I continued to gamble and I lied to my therapist for another 1-1/2 years about my gambling, I was paying someone so I could lie to them. Finally at 33 after 3 years of this behavior, I finally addressed my gambling. Then recovery took hold. Working two 12 Step programs and working with a therapist, I dealt with emotional issues. I worked the 12 Steps of Recovery. I embraced the Fellowship. I no longer felt lonely, insecure and depressed. I love that I can feel all my feelings, I have self awareness, I have intimate relationships. I started a company, Life Is Wonderful.Love, www.lifeiswonderful.love, to share that Recovery is Beautiful! Your EQ is Your IQ. I rewrote the The 12 Steps as The 12 Steps Explained. A unique and creative approach so a person can work the steps in 90 Days. I also started a podcast called The 1% in Recovery so people get good information on how to improve their lives. I give out a Daily Recovery Tip on social media too, many ways to share the beauty and freedom of recovery!