When I was three years old, I was molested.
For the longest time, I believed it was just a bad dream until I got old enough and overheard a conversation about it. Then I instantly remembered every detail of the situation.
Little did I know that not long after that, my method of coping was to start drinking alcohol at the young age of 11.
When I was 13, I tried meth for the first time, then not long after, I began to abuse prescription medication.
After my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and passed away, I no longer had easy access to Perc 30s, so I went to the next cheaper alternative and began intravenously using heroin.
Not long after I turned 18, I found out my daughter’s mother was pregnant with my daughter. So, I tried detoxing from heroin by drinking Four Lokos, and as expected, that led to my first experience with incarceration.I was placed on Misdemeanor probation, and still, I couldn’t find the motivation to stay clean.
I could use it successfully and stop in time to be clean before I had to report to probation… I was only lying to myself because I couldn’t stop. It would get to where I was going on the run with a warrant.
In 2015, I was driving without a license and with a warrant to get my next fix. I was clocked going 105mph in a 35mph speed limit. They got behind me and hit the lights, so my first instinct was to push the gas to the floor.
I didn’t make it very far and was arrested on a F-3 Failure To Comply with a Police Officer.
While incarcerated, they allowed me to go to inpatient treatment, and for the first time in my adult life, I felt like I would be able to remain clean.
I didn’t apply the suggestions that were given to me, and not long after completing them, I relapsed.
I violated my community control five times before they finally said they had enough and sent me to prison.
The whole time I was in prison, I did Suboxone, smoked weed, and got drunk.
When I was released from prison in 2018, I was off probation for the first time since I had become an adult.
I had no immediate consequences for my actions, so my drug use took off in full force.
I would eventually be hospitalized with a severe yeast infection in my lower spine and be diagnosed with not only Hepatitis C but Hepatitis B, as well.
Around the same time, I had lost custody of my daughter because I was selfish due to my addiction and just refused to quit using.
I ended up getting evicted at the end of fall and had nowhere to go.
I can still remember my 6-year-old daughter saying, “Daddy, will you please go get help so that you can get better?”That was when I finally realized I had had enough!I returned to treatment on December 21st, 2020, and have since maintained my sobriety.
Addiction is a progressive illness! So your use and consequences will continue to increase the longer you choose to put illegal substances in your body!